I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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