Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
