I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize