I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
