lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
