I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
