I got her a Nickelback box set.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
