She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
