I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
