shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
