Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
