all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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