I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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