Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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