turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
