In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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