Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
