And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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