A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
