it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize