Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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