69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
