I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
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Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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