Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
People in love make me want to vomit
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
