we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
