how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dicks are not precious.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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