Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
