he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
