just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
