when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
