Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
