im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
