yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
