i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
