My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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