Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
