There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
organizing the empties. That sober.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Please don't give away my fajitas
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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