closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
