carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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