would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
