My cat gives me a boner
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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