so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
