i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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