Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
