420 ftw
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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