You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
