I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
