gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
