By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize