I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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