her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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