I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
