so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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