Yo dont text me then not text me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize