It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
