I looked at my own cervix.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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