i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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